On the next season of the Walking Dead.. (Taken with instagram)
It’s getting harder to fake it.
| Zooey Deschanel: | Is that rain? |
| Siri: | What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Let's get tomato soup delivered! |
| Siri: | ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes. |
| Siri: | Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Remind me to clean up. |
| Siri: | Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible- |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Tomorrow. |
| Siri: | I'm in hell. This is hell. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Excellent. Today, we're dancing. |
| Siri: | I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll." |
| Siri: | I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you. |
| Zooey Deschanel: | *dances* |
| Siri: | Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet. |
(via rumour-has-it-i)
Yes! (Taken with instagram)
The Rolling Stones- The Last Time
Note to Chicago restaurant/bar patrons: what you see (on Yelp) is not always what you get!
(via staceyjoy:flavorpill)
Unless I keep evolving, I get depressed
delacroix:
I should just stop having opinions publicly because, inevitably, it ends with some fucking 15-year-old calling me a “bitch” or “cunt” and me wanting to call their parents and/or rage-punt them into the sun.
(Source: delacroix)
(via fuckyeahkaleighrae)
these commercials win… even if our two favorite ball clubs don’t always!
Go Sox? Go Cubs?
jasmined:(h/t Chicagoist)
As I was afraid to even write this because women may take this the wrong way.....
Let it be known, I like this fucker’s name. But I didn’t write the post. I like vagina.
JustAJoe1
I read through some of these...
HAHAHAHA
This is soooo classy. I’m serious. Best way to say “nice tits” ever.
You win. Please pm me your identity so I can thank you!
My 2 year old nephew thinks he’s Spiderman.
Poor, realistic Mario…